Go to the Balcony

In yesterday's blog, I reviewed five barriers to cooperation as offered by William Ury of the Harvard Law School's Program on Negotiation. At IEP meetings, we can sometimes find ourselves having to breakthrough barriers that keep us from joint problem solving. The first barrier is our human reaction to conflict and that is typically the desire to strike back, give in, or just end the relationship. The third option is not one we can consider in special education as we are obligated to serve students with disabililities until the age 21. I love this quote by Ambrose Bierce...

"Speak when you are angry and you will make the best speech you will ever regret"

Ury's tactic for breaking down this barrier is to Go To The Balcony. "When you find yourself facing a difficult negotiation, you need to step back, collect your wits, and see the situtation objectively." This will allow you to separate yourself from the natural tendencies to retaliate, throw in the towel, or call it quits.

Another advantage is that it provides the opportunity to buy time and think. I have been involved in several meetings when the team just needed to take a break for 10 minutes to let each party "go to the balcony". In some cases upon return, this results in a new perspective to joint problem solving and ultimately resolution.

Finally, Rome wasn't built in a day. Sometimes the meeting needs to be rescheduled to afford a lengthier trip "to the balcony" and time to think about the problem at hand. If you find yourself in a tough situation in an IEP meeting or predict such can happen, call Special Services and ask for help from someone in our office. It's what we do and we will be there for you.