In William Ury's book Getting Past No, he explains a fourth barrier to joint-problem solving: the other sides's dissatisfaction. Coming to a mutually satisfying decision may be hindered (even when the other side is aware of how it will benefit them) simply because it was your idea. Ury identified four obstacles to an agreement and suggestions for overcoming them...
- Not their idea. You need to involve the other side. Ask for their ideas then build on them. Ask for constructive criticism and offer them a choice.
- Unmet interests. You can satisfy unmet interests by not dismissing the other side's position as irrational and by not overlooking basic human needs (e.g., security, recognition).
- Fear of losing face. Help the other side back away without backing down. Show how circumstances have changed.
- Too much too fast. Don't rush to the finish. Guide the other side step-by-step and don't ask for a final commitment until the end.
Build your opponent a golden bridge to retreat across. --Sun Tzu
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